Now kids, here's an important lesson: don't drink and drive.
If you do, there's a chance (albeit a very small chance) that you'll end up alone, naked and cowering behind a bush in a stadium parking lot in the middle of the night.
The unsuspecting victim told police he was drunkenly driving in San Francisco's Portola neighborhood near the intersection of Silliman and Hamilton streets around 11:30pm on Monday evening, when two men, one of whom was brandishing a gun, instructed him to get in the back seat and take off all his clothes.
Now completely naked, victim was driven to his home by the two suspects who apparently knew where he lived, even though he claimed to have never told them its location.
Once at the victim's home, the suspects went inside and stole a bag full of the victim's clothes along with his wallet. The ransacking now complete, the trio drove to the parking lot of nearby Candlestick Park.
At this point, the victim had enough. He fled from the automobile, still naked and still very drunk, and hid behind a bush until his captors gave up looking for him, got into a different car and left. It was only then, his ordeal now finished, could the intoxicated victim get in his car and drive home.
"There were, to put it mildly, some inconsistencies in the victim's story, such as his inability to remember certain events," SFPD Spokesperson Officer Carlos Manfredi told The Huffington Post. "Something that horrific happens to you, you'd probably remember more details."
"Granted," added Mandredi, "he was drunk."