11/07/2011 10:08 am ET Updated Jan 07, 2012

6 Reasons Writing For The Internet Is The Best Job Ever

Many people have described writing online as being slowly lowered into a vat of acidic bile, without the benefit of being Batman first. And they're not wrong. But they write off their own motivations as a form of brain damage: An ignorance of the real world, an inability to count money and a desperate compulsion that would result in arrest if it involved showing their genitals instead of simply talking about them. But writing online is the best job in the world, especially since I found out that "cheerleader tester" isn't a real position.

And that's the first advantage: I couldn't talk about cheerleaders while not wearing pants in any other work environment without getting fired. But there's much more to working online than a complete lack of believability and clothing (although a quick search will confirm that that's how most people work online). But we're talking about writers, who show off their feelings and minds instead of their taut bodies. So what can you look forward to from a career in soul porn?