01/06/2012 09:47 am ET

God Is Depressed And Drunk On 'Conan' (VIDEO)

It's a sign that the world is in crummy shape when even God has given up and hit the bottle.

The Almighty made a rare basic cable appearance on Thursday, appearing on "Conan" via satellite from a bar, where God apparently spends most of His time these days. And why shouldn't He? Everything he was betting on for 2012 -- namely Tim Tebow and Michele Bachmann, whom he personally instructed to run for president -- is going belly up.

Even Conan can't seem to cheer him up. For all of our sake, we hope that God keeps the temple clean in the future. A drunk God at the helm of the universe can't be good for anyone.