02/22/2012 01:09 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

REPLY ALL: Kathy Griffin Opens Up About Love, Life, Sex And Donuts

Marlo Thomas checks in with the outrageous actress, author and fearless social commentator.

If you could write a personal slogan that you live by, what would it be?
“Everybody can suck it.”

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would get a new head.

What is your greatest fear?
That Oprah Winfrey will booty call me.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
"Um,” “like” and "You're the one who's crazy."

Who or what always makes you laugh?
My mom, halfway through a box of wine.

What is always at your bedside? In your purse?
A taser, mace and a romance novel.

What do you collect?

What do you find sexy?

What brings you peace?

What is your obsession?
Fresh donuts or donut holes.

When you're watching TV, what makes you want to throw the remote at your set?
Fox News.

Which song would make the perfect soundtrack for your life?
“Bad Girl” by Madonna. (Look it up.)

Who’s your favorite bad guy?
Well, it's one of the Backstreet Boys. I just don't know which one.

If you were a stripper, what would you choose for your stage name?
Sofonda Cox.

What's the most useless piece of advice you've ever received?
“Look in the mirror and you'll meet your new best friend.” Really?

What do you remember most about your first kiss?
That the guy who kissed me is gay now. Which came first? It's kind of a chicken and egg situation.

What is your secret dream?
To sleep with Phil Donahue.

For more on Kathy Griffin, visit kathygriffin.com.

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