03/30/2012 10:04 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

JOKE: Roseann Barr, Domestic Demon

"As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then, hey, I’ve done my job." —Roseanne Barr

"Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you’re feeling festive?" —Roseanne Barr

"My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside." —Roseanne Barr

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