There's an old saying: "Beware the long arm of the law."
To that, we add, "especially when its hand is touching itself in the squad car."
That's because a former police sergeant in Santa Fe, N.M., is in a touchy situation after the release of video caught on his own dash cam that suggests he had a graphic sexual conversation with himself and masturbated while on duty.
The video, which was obtained by KOB-TV, just shows the vehicle of former Sgt. Mike Eiskant, but the audio is much steamier.
Eiskant was alone in the vehicle during his audio-erotic encounter and the sound of a zipper is clearly audible. It also appears he is masturbating while looking at a picture of a naked woman on his cell phone and texting.
The video lasts at least 10 minutes and at one especially heated point, he says, "Oh, show me those big beautiful breasts, baby.”
Although only one such video was found in 10 hours of tape obtained by the station, at least one former officer isn't surprised by the alleged masturbation.
Former officer Shannon Brady told KOB-TV in a follow-up report that Eiskant had a reputation for being a "creeper" and stalking women.
Brady said she even tried to bring a harassment complaint against Eiskant years ago to the Santa Fe police department's human resource division that was handled by then human resource compliance officer Raymond Rael, who has since been promoted to chief of police.
"They had plenty of opportunities over the course of many years to do something about it and they refused to," Brady told the station.
The former officer said when she went to file her claim, Rael asked her if she was, "doing this only because of all the rumors against Mike Eiskant stalking women," and offered mediation with Eiskant which she declined.
Rael told KOB-TV that since he has been chief, he was unaware of other complaints against the former sergeant, who was never disciplined or put on administrative leave. Instead, he was allowed to start cashing in on all of his accumulated leave and will officially retire in November.
"I did not have prior knowledge, and if I did, I would have acted," Rael said.
Rael also denied knowing why Eiskant was given the badge number 69 when he was promoted to sergeant.
"Is it possible that it is coincidental?" Rael said. "I suppose, but I can't speak to that issue one way or another."
Being accused of masturbating in a police squad car would be damaging to most careers, but, amazingly, it may not be the worst accusation against Eiskant, 41.
On Thursday, he entered a plea of no contest before Bernalillo County District Court Judge Reed Sheppard to two counts of attempt to commit a felony (false imprisonment), one count of stalking, two counts of harassment and other charges including larceny and possession of marijuana, according to the Santa Fe New Mexican.
Seven of the charges occurred in 2011 and the counts of false imprisonment, stalking and harassment relate to traffic stops involving female drivers, according to the criminal complaint.
In return for pleading no contest, Eiskant agreed he "will never again become a law enforcement officer anywhere in the United States," according to a statement from Attorney General Gary King's office.
Eiskant does not face any jail time, but the attorney general's agreement states "probation length, at initial sentencing, shall not exceed one year, and may be converted to unsupervised probation, in the discretion of the court, after any mandatory counseling has been completed."
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