Charlie Sheen opened up to Playboy in the magazine's July/August double issue about his very public 2011 meltdown, blaming the slow buildup of all the time he's been in show business and his multiple failed marriages for causing him to unravel.
"I was mad about having to play the game—not that I was playing it well, but I’d been doing it for so long. I finally just said the things I had always been thinking," he told the magazine. "But in the middle of a psychotic break."
No one does a meltdown quite like Charlie Sheen, and the 46-year-old actor appears to be embarrassed about some of the equally ridiculous and cruel things he said last year.
Of the infamous interview, in which he loudly declared he was "winning," he now knows he was far from it.
"I was in total denial. It wasn’t that bleak in my head. I felt I was winning by finally being able to speak my mind. I felt that was some sort of victory. And then it was fueled by the insane public outpouring of support," he explained.
Sheen also addressed the other now-infamous catchphrases he coined during that time, explaining his most memorable words came out of nowhere.
"It wasn’t planned, it was just random, The tiger blood? I don’t know. It’s just a very dangerous animal. And there’s a tiger in 'Apocalypse Now,' by the way, so maybe there’s a connection there," he explained, going on to discuss his claim he had Adonis DNA. "I don’t know what the f**k that was about. That was just stupid. That went a little far," he said.
Sheen also regrets some of the harsh words he had for "Two and a Half Men" co-star Jon Cryer, telling the magazine that calling him a "troll" and a "traitor" was wrong.
"I whaled on him unnecessarily. He was trying to keep the sh*t together, trying to cover my a**, pick up the slack. He just got caught in the crossfire. He’s a beautiful man and a f**king fabulous dude and I miss him," he told Playboy.
Much of Sheen's meltdown was fueled by drugs and fellow partiers he found in his "goddesses" -- porn stars and call girls. And while he declared he was clean and sober in September 2011, he still hasn't given up his love of paid company.
"I’m not saying I’ll never be with a prostitute again. But it’s hard," he told the magazine. "Parts of it are soulless and parts of it are nourishing. It’s always a roll of the dice.”
For more on Charlie Sheen, pick up the July/August double issue of Playboy, on newsstands June 29