07/02/2012 03:52 pm ET Updated Sep 01, 2012

Amidst Editorial Changes, The Onion's Headlines Get Unusually Wordy

"Area Pubis Shorn." "Karaoke Singer Will Survive." "Fat Kid Calls Shirts." "Hulk Smash."

The Onion's headlines have on innumerable occasions confirmed the maxim that brevity is the soul of wit. With such clarity and punch, delivered with such deadpan subversiveness, it's easy to fathom how American's Finest News Source has hooked so many readers who might have otherwise never picked up a newspaper.