08/30/2012 10:33 am ET Updated Oct 30, 2012

20 Irrational But Nonetheless Persistent Beauty Fears I've Picked Up From My Time As A Female Human Being


If I forget to wear bronzer, I'll look like Powder.

If I don't replace my mascara every six months, I will develop huge, painful styes on both eyes. And then I'll probably go blind.

My deodorant is definitely giving me armpit cancer, right this very minute.

If I use the wrong shade of foundation, women's magazine editors will swoop down from the sky, hawk-like, and pelt me to death with bottles of the correct shade.

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