09/27/2012 07:07 am ET Updated Nov 27, 2012

The College Football Misery Index

The NFL embodies the sort of idealized America that only exists when presidential candidates start to get a little teary-eyed about the promise of our forefathers. Every team starts with basically an equal chance of fulfilling the American Dream (read: annual trip to Disneyland), and if they fail to do so on a yearly basis, you can and should blame the victim.

But in a way, college football has become far more actually American in terms of how economic hierarchies and criminal allowance determine the landscape -- the most common phrase uttered during the recruiting process is the "rich get richer," as resource-rich schools siphon the top talent from the needy like Mr. Burns's slant-drilling operation.

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