"This hose right here is my baby," declares Albert Cordeschi cheerfully. "I love this hose!"
So, too, would anyone. The pale blue piping is the only thing separating Miami International Airport's ramp services manager from the aromatic and gushing bathroom waste of hundreds of in-flight airline passengers above -- and whatever else they flushed down the plane's tiny toilet.
"People like to throw baby diapers," he shares in the exclusive clip above, before widening his hands to indicate girth. "Turds the size of -- huge, bro."
The mechanics and glories of "poop service," charmingly delivered in the most Miami of manners, is just one of the eye-opening revelations in the Travel Channel's new 6-part original series, "Airport 24/7: Miami." The show, which debuts Tuesday night at 9 p.m., captures the weird and high stakes life of an American airport.
But not just any American airport.
After all, MIA isn't merely a place that shuffles 40 million passengers down a really, really, really long terminal every year and can't quite stay on budget. It's also the gateway to Latin America and a crucial "Category X" airport, meaning it's a prime target for terror attacks -- not to mention a huge city unto itself in a place where tropical weather can turn severe at a moment's notice and someone manages 40,000 civilian employees.
Arguably the most intense, bizarre, and demanding spot in a region that's legendarily weird, MIA is a place where passengers and police are equally liable to see human fetuses in jars, aborted kidnappings, random acts of culture, or cocaine packed in cake boxes.
In other words, it's perfect reality fodder. The brainchild of local content producers 2C Media, "Airport 24/7: Miami" will go behind the scenes to not only follow what happens when a passenger conceals a knife in his shoe, but yes, how poop is removed from airplanes.
"Whenever you go to an airport, there are always signs that say, 'Staff Only,' 'Do Not Enter,' 'Prohibited Area,' 'Alarm Will Go Off,'" 2C's Chris Sloan told the Associate Press. "But we actually go to all those places, and that's unique."
Watch the exclusive clip above, and tune in Tuesday night at 9 p.m. for the show's two-episode debut. It's Miami, and therefor you never know what will go down.