10/17/2012 10:58 am ET

Conservatives Suddenly Decide Ball Busting Harridan Hillary Clinton Is A Wimpy Doormat

Last night, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told CNN that she takes responsibility for the attacks on the US Embassy in Benghazi that resulted in the deaths of four Americans. Predictably, people who don't like President Obama have taken this opportunity to accuse Hillary Clinton of playing patsy to the boys, another victim of THE REAL WAR ON WOMEN that the Obama Administration declared while we were all distracted by legitimate rape and being compared to pregnant farm animals. Hillary Clinton was pressured to take the fall for the Obama administration, goes the story, because Hillary Clinton, the favored bitch-villain of the right wing for the last two decades, has now suddenly been magically transformed into a floppy doormat. Hillary just can't win.

Since the Libya attacks — which were first framed as though they were carried out by a mob of people mad about that terribly silly film Innocence of Muslims and now appear to have been a coordinated terrorist attack carried out by a group of armed men — accusations have been flying over who is to blame, since nothing fuels reactionary American political campaigns like the blood of white people killed by brown non-Christians. The Romney campaign insists that the Obama administration knew about embassy requests for more security but ignored them; the Obama campaign helpfully points out that it was Paul Ryan and Romneyesque Republicans who cut the diplomatic security budget by $300 million in the first place. Meanwhile, slain ambassador Christopher Stevens' father wants both camps (and especially the Romney camp) to stop using his dead son's corpse as a campaign talking point. God, SHUT UP, grieving father. You're not Mitt Romney's real dad.

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