10/31/2012 09:13 am ET

Everything I Need To Know, I Learned From The 2012 Election

Yes, this is the week of Halloween and I should be writing about "Hocus Pocus" or "The Munsters" or the song “Monster Mash,” but you know what’s actually scary? Scarier than any horror movie or any costume anyone can come up with? THE ELECTION IS IN A WEEK (+A DAY). I am shaking in my boots! And I honestly cannot get my head out of the political clouds right now, soooooooo I am sorry to let you down and not talk about how sexy Sarah Jessica Parker is as a witch. Let’s talk about how sexy Mitt Romney is when he tans. (Just kidding.)

EINTKILF the 2012 Election Season

1. There are binders full of women!
I absolutely love when someone says something that does not seem ridiculous in their head but is ridiculous to every other person basically in the whole world and then the nation has a joke we are all in together. I think I am most proud to be an American when we all think the same thing is funny. (That’s not true, don’t freak out on me.) Binders full of women reminds me of when my older brother collected comic book cards (I just flinched typing that out of habit because he would probably punch me for telling the internet that he used to be a nerd) and kept them all in a cool binder with those plastic filing thingies.

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