11/12/2012 10:35 am ET

The Story Of How I Got Sober Once And For All Which, Yes, Involves Two Filthy Sex Club Stories

I always felt sorry for alcoholics.

How embarrassing it must be. To identify as something so gross and flawed and "less than." Those poor people. I was glad that I just knew how to have fun. I had a successful career, some terrific stories that people laughed at and I could do anything. If I wanted to smoke weed, I could smoke weed. If I wanted to stay at a bar until 4 a.m. and drink, I could do that. When I finally decided to try cocaine, that was an option, too.

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