I have never had an orgasm. Ever. Not by man, machine, or mine own hand.
You know those women's magazine articles about “How To Have 20 Multiple Orgasms” and “I Had A Spontaneous Orgasm At Church!” and “How To Have A Blended Orgasm While Spinning Plates On A Stick?” Every time I read one, I find myself cursing you spoiled bitches, with all your fancy sexual experiences. Is this crazy shit what women aspire to? Are they so bored with the mundane, everyday orgasm that they need one with bells and whistles and blending? Where is my article on how to have ONE measly orgasm?
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As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
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