01/04/2013 10:53 am ET Updated Mar 06, 2013

6 Office Pranks That Went Horribly Awry

Do you work in an office? I'm sorry you made that poor choice in life. Of course, if you work anywhere except on a rocket copter full of bosomy dinosaurs (which is where I do my writing, unless I'm on the toilet), then I pity your poor life choice. But that's not relevant right now. (P.S. I'm on the toilet.) What is relevant is that in any office, you need office prankage to make the crazy stay back 50 paces. Because oh man, when the crazy comes, you need to watch out. One time I worked at a non-profit in accounting, and it was kind of like having a person who doesn't much care for me balance in a callous fashion on my scrotum for eight hours a day, every single day. You can't deal with that. But on the other hand, you need to be careful with your office prankage, lest any of this shit happen and piss on your proverbial corn flakes.