01/14/2013 12:09 am ET Updated Jan 14, 2013

Golden Globes Quotes: Hosts Amy Poehler And Tina Fey's Best One-Liners

The made us laugh, they made us cheer, they ended the damn thing on time. At the 2013 Golden Globes, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler established themselves as the most entertaining, endearing and impossibly efficient award show hosts of all time. Here are some of our favorite quotes from their remarkable performance:

On the award show at hand:
"Only at the Golden Globes do the beautiful people of film rub shoulders with the rat-faced people of television."

On their predecessor:
"As Ricky Gervais found out the hard way, when you run afoul of the Hollywood Foreign Press, they make you host this show two more times."

On the celebrity audience's hypothetical intoxication levels:
"You can smell the pills from here."

On Kathryn Bigelow, best director nominee for "Zero Dark Thirty":
"When it comes to torture, I trust the lady who was married for three years to James Cameron."

On Lena Dunham's numerous appearances in the buff on "Girls":
"If they’re forcing you to do all that nudity, just tell us. Give us a signal … and we’ll call child services for you."

On the price of beauty:
"The Hunger Games was one of the biggest films of the year, and also what I call the six weeks it took me to get into this dress."

Nothing feels as good as this tastes:
"Ang Lee has been nominated for the Life of Pi,' which is what I’m gonna call the six weeks after I take this dress off!"

On Anne Hathaway:
“Anne Hathaway, you gave a stunning performance in Les Miserables. I have not seen someone so totally alone and abandoned like that since you were on stage with James Franco at the Oscars.”

On Bill Clinton's cameo:
"That was Hillary Clinton’s husband.”
“Bill Rodham Clinton!”

On Lena Dunham's acceptance speech for Best Actress in a Television Series, Comedy or Musical:
"Congratulations Lena, I’m glad we got you through middle school."

On a certain country songstresses' predilection for dating the under-21 set:
"You know what, Taylor Swift, you stay away from Michael J. Fox’s son."

On a certain director:
"Quentin Tarantino is here, star of all my sexual nightmares."

On the incomparable Meryl:
"Meryl Streep is not here tonight. She has the flu — and I hear she’s amazing in it."

On the woman who delivered the most dramatic speech of the night:
“We’re going home with Jodie Foster!”

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