01/29/2013 11:55 am ET

'Men's Health' Has Really Awful Sex Advice

Now, we all know that Cosmopolitan has notoriously terrible sex advice, but it would be sexist to assume that that’s exclusive to women’s magazines. Not when we’ve got Men’s Health. My favorite so far is an article called, I swear to god, “Sex Tips to Outperform Her Vibrator.“

This is confusing to me on several levels.

I mean, who thinks that a woman’s vibrator and her boyfriend are doing the same job, and thus in competition with each other? I mean, yes, both involve orgasms, but nobody talks about a woman being in competition with a guy’s own hand. (If anyone does talk about that, please don’t tell me. I’m happier not knowing.) Vibrators are for masturbation, and boyfriends are for sex, with the moving and the hands and the human connection and the kissing and so on. Relax, dude, you are better at kissing than her vibrator. Or, if you’re not, you’re past the point where a magazine article is going to help you.

Read more on xo Jane