It's been said that an infinite number of monkeys tapping on an infinite number of typewriters will eventually type out the complete works of Shakespeare.
But who needs some egghead's mathematical model to show that nothing is impossible? The daily dispatches of HuffPost Weird News prove that every day.
The odds were high that a man named "Bart Simpson" would stand before a judge named "Mr. Burns," but that's just what happened in the U.K. -- and not in Springfield's Kwik-E-Mart.
As Homer Simpson once said, "People can come up with statistics to prove anything ... 14 percent of people know that."
Mathematics also suggest that ETs exist. Famed theoretical physicist Michio Kaku and other renowned scientists tell us that the universe is so huge, it's all but certain we aren't alone.
"Each galaxy consists of a hundred billion stars," Kaku says. "Do the math. A hundred billion times a hundred billion is 10 sextillion. That's one with 22 zeros after it. There definitely are aliens in outer space -- they're out there!"
If you really want to be shocked by a number, however, check out how many men suffer zipper-related penis injuries.
An estimated 17,616 men went to the emergency room for "trouser zip injuries to the genitals" between 2002 and 2010, according to an article published this week in the Journal of the British Association of Urological Surgeons.
In other odds defying news, a man found a knife lodged in his back, three years after being stabbed.
In the United Kingdom, a man born without a penis will have a new sex organ fashioned for him -- out of his arm.
In California, a woman who repeatedly got shocked in her shower won $4 million in court damages.
But not all weird news is the result of something highly unlikely. Sometimes, it's just a matter of faithfully documenting the painfully obvious. That would include the latest from Billy "The Human Billboard" Gibby, a man who tattooed more than 20 advertisements on his face as a way of making money.
Gibby is now trying to remove all those branded tattoos from his face. And where is he getting the $4,000 to do that? He's selling more tattoo ads on his body.
It's temping to say Giddy has an impossible job ahead of him. In the world of weird news, however, the odds often favor the odd.
What was the weirdest story of the week? Click through the gallery and vote below.