Girls, tired of walking around Coachella thinking all the female festival-goers are half your weight? Like you accidentally walked onto an ad campaign for crop tops and ab machines?
Don't sweat it. The funny hipsters of Olde Payphone have you covered with a demonstration of their "Coachella Crash Diet" (video above). All it involves is disgusting vegetable and juice cleanse diets, hellish amounts of exercise, bulimia, laxatives and, of course, tapeworms.
Sound impossible? Don't worry; the ending might just work for you.
If you actually do want some tips on how to get in shape the healthy way, check out these ways to get in shape for Coachella, brought to you by Live Fast Magazine.