05/03/2013 02:12 pm ET

A Wedding Day Pep Talk - Best Advice For Men Wedding - Esquire


The worst thing that can happen at the ceremony will not happen. You will not faint. You will not flub your lines. The best man will not throw up. She will not run away from you and get on a bus. No uncle will split his suit pants bending over. Nothing that America's Funniest Home Videos leads you to believe may happen will happen. Because unless you've been practicing an elaborate entrance involving choreography and the bride's being carried in on a litter (which is a mistake, frankly, but you will get through it), this is not a high-pressure situation. Almost everything is scripted, prescribed, watched over, ordained by God, and decreed by the state. And everyone knows what their role is — you, your bride, the officiant, the guests, the bored waiters, everyone.