05/09/2013 07:55 am ET Updated May 09, 2013

'The Real World': Jordan Reveals He Contemplated Suicide (VIDEO)

Jordan has been a polarizing personality on "The Real World: Portland" since the beginning. Then Nia showed up and brought that same level of divisiveness, and the two have been ferociously fighting since.

After another intense argument with Nia, all of the emotional vulnerability finally got Jordan to a place where he admitted something about himself. He told Bird he didn't like himself and wished he could change.

He then told her that when he was a child, he had so many issues with his father that he almost took his own life. "I wrote the note. I was ready to go, like checking out," he said. I just wanted to know, would people even cry? Would anyone even care if I wasn’t here?’

Luckily, his family found the note before he could do anything and answered his cry for help. It ended up working out. I guess," he told Bird with a small laugh.

Things are starting to get real for the housemates on "The Real World: Portland," Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET on MTV.

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