For years, Meredith Phillips has been keeping a big secret.
The former "Bachelorette," who starred on the show in 2004, recently revealed to People that she headed to treatment six months ago for alcoholism. The 39-year-old model-turned-reality star is now more than 150 days sober, but still admits her struggle to stay that way is a tough one.
"For years I'd wake up every day feeling like I was hit by a truck," explained Phillips, who at her worst was drinking more than 20 bottles of wine a week and blacking out daily. "But I realized I was going to kill myself," she added to People. "There wasn't another path for me other than to stop."
Phillips says that after breaking up with her "Bachelorette" winner and fiancé Ian McKee, things started to take a dark turn.
“It began with a lot of ‘Sunday Fundays," she told People. “I would split a bottle of champagne with friends at brunch, then move on to wine. My lowest point was when I realized my mother was in a hospital bed dying of cancer and I was at her house, drinking myself to death,” Phillips continued. “I just didn’t care.”
Now, reflecting on her addiction, Phillips, who recently married her high school sweetheart Michael Broady, says, "I'm finally starting to live my life again."
Phillips appeared on "Good Morning America" this morning (June 2) to open up more about her battle with alcoholism, insisting that although alcohol is very much a part of "The Bachelorette," the show is not to blame for her issues.
"It was my choice to drink it and how much I consumed," Phillips told "GMA," noting of the dating show, "It [alcohol] shouldn't be prevalent all the time. It shouldn't be available, you know? I mean, it was just too easy."