Stephen Colbert returned Monday to address the biggest bombshell of the weekend: The revelation of the identity of the NSA document leaker, Edward Snowden.
"He's an employee of the defense contractor Booz Allen Hamilton, named after our drunkest Founding Father," Colbert joked.
In addition to poking fun at Snowden's refugee status, he also felt bad for Snowden's girlfriend, who reportedly did not know that Snowden was going to leak the documents -- and likely be in prison for the remainder of his life.
"I think this could be the most passive aggressive breakup in history," Colbert said. He imagined Snowden talking to his girlfriend: "Honey, of course I'm into you! Of course I want children! But first I have to leak a little classified information about the NSA and hide out in asia for the rest of my life!"
And he had one last call to action to the NSA: Keep an eye on Jon Stewart, who began his three-month hiatus today.
"I do find it suspicious that the same day [Snowden] flees to hong kong, [Stewart] flees to Jordan. To direct a serious movie? Yeah, that's believable," he remarked, referencing his Comedy Central colleague's surprising decision to make his feature directoral debut with a dramatic film about Iranian hostages.