06/19/2013 04:11 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Yelp Reviews Of Border Checkpoints Read By Real Actors (VIDEO)

You can really review ANYTHING on Yelp.

If you’re planning a road trip that passes through any U.S.-Mexico border checkpoints, you might want to take a look at what reviewers on Yelp have to say first. Or better yet, watch them.

The Center for Investigative Reporting partnered with Gotta Kid to Feed Productions to bring you dramatic readings of the best border checkpoint reviews on Yelp.

Anyone who’s crossed the border by car can say that it could turn into a very rough experience. Eric T. got pulled into secondary inspection after the "narc dog" started pawing at the trunk of his car. “Keep in mind that at this point I'm freaking out," writes the Yelp reviewer. "Images from that mucho homoerotico show on HBO, 'Oz,' start popping into my head,“

Yet Eric was somewhat kind, awarding the experience two stars for “giving me an insane adrenaline rush that lead to some inappropriateness in the Aliso Creek Rest Area.” TMI Eric.

Mona M., on the other hand, barely gave them one star, saying: “Dear Mr. Border Patrol Guy: There were no illegals in my trunk. It's barley big enough to fit a car jack and a few bottles of Kaluha.” Good thing she didn’t get rid of the car jack to fit in another bottle.

Also, she wants the Border Patrol Guy to know that she gets her drugs in the United States, where “she’s got connections.”

And his hat is stupid.

“Take That.”

Watch Eric’s full review above and Mona’s below