WOMEN
06/20/2013 01:43 pm ET

An Open Letter of Resignation From Sideboob

Getty

I recently met with Sideboob about the current state of its career. Looking a little melancholy, Sideboob simply said, "I can't do this anymore," and asked me to relay this announcement to the public.

From the desk of Sideboob

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Dear Media, Internet, and connoisseurs of famous breasts,

I would like to inform you that I am resigning from my position as "a thing," effective immediately.

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