I had dinner with a friend recently who, when I opened up about some of my life issues, looked at me all moon-eyed and dreamy and said: “But being in love makes everything so much better.” I laughed. Like, actually laughed in her face. When I was single, I used to look at new couples and feel a pang of jealousy thinking life must be so easy for them. Yes, being in love is a wonderful, blissful, transcendent life affirming experience, but it doesn’t make anything better. Everything that was a problem in my life before is still a problem. What’s different is that someone cooks me scrambled eggs for breakfast and genuinely wants to see all my Instagram photos and knows what to do to make me laugh when I’m grumpy. So, back to the question: what’s changed in my life? A lot, but not all of the changes have been easy ones. Falling in love is an adjustment — like moving to a new city or starting a new job or, I imagine, becoming a parent. You find yourself a refugee from your former life, trying to integrate your old self with the new one.
You never hear much about what happens after two people meet and fall in love — or at least people fail to mention the dirty details what really transpires. It would ruin the illusion — talking about how you have a formidable pile of unopened mail on your desk, because well, you’ve barely been home in the last four months. Being in love doesn’t make the mail go away. And that’s something I miss about being single — never having a mail pile. Not that I’m complaining in the least, but below are some other random things that I’m mourning the loss of now that I’m coupled.