09/19/2013 11:51 am ET Updated Nov 19, 2013

The Lost Art Of 'Ladylike'


I recently read an article on "TFM" that made me feel quite nauseous. It's a manifesto for the 'perfect girlfriend' - highlights of the article include 'nothing is less attractive than insecurity. Except maybe love handles' and 'lie about how many people you've had sex with.' It encourages a woman to cater for all the factors that would make one perpetual frat bro's life luxuriously hassle-free, receiving oral without the mention of ever giving it himself, not having to hold himself accountable for any of his own mistakes and being free to walk around with a sneer and a snapback, content in the knowledge that he can do pretty much whatever he likes. This is something which, I might add, women have been encouraged (at best) and forced (at worst) to do for centuries. Minus the questionable head gear.

This got me thinking. I made the mistake of tweeting my frustration at this article and got immediately abused by a bunch of people -- male and female -- who told me, "Maybe if you absorbed some of what the article said, you'd get laid more." It's the fact that another girl said this to me that really stung. Shouldn't we women stick together? And shouldn't we encourage dignified behaviour amongst ourselves?

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