10/25/2013 05:43 pm ET

'I Argue With Myself Every Day About Losing My Virginity'


Throughout the months of September and October, HuffPost Teen is highlighting the way teens think and feel about sex through anecdotes written for our series, "Teen Sex: It's Complicated." All of the authors are teenagers who have agreed to be published anonymously. If you want to share your thoughts, join the conversation here.

By Elizabeth, 16

To me, sex is an act that separates the elites from the commoners at my school.

In high school, sex is treated as something that only the "attractive" and "popular" partake in. It's something that, over time, has lost almost all of its discretion. Fifty years ago, to mention sex was probably unthinkable. Now, you can't go an hour without hearing the word, or some other reference to it. You always hear stories about who had sex with who, who gave who a blow job, and with these stories, people get attention and gain popularity. It's like the only way to rise to the top is by being some sexual goddess and letting the story somehow get out.

I'm a virgin by choice. I'm a Christian who believes in waiting until marriage for sex, but every day, I find myself in conflict over this more and more. I know that premarital sex is a sin. I also know that all sins are equal in His eyes and that I am forgiven for my sins, but should still try and be as Christ-like as possible. I know that condoms and birth control are good preventatives, but not full-fledged prevention. I know that even with taking all of these preventative steps, it's still very possible for me to get pregnant, because my cousin got pregnant at the age of 15. I argue with myself every day about whether or not it's okay for me to remain a virgin.

It's hard for me to stay true to what I have been taught to believe is right and wrong, especially when I know that there is no one around who I can honestly talk to about things of this nature. Parents and teachers will always scold the act, while everyone else around me feels the need to speak from, what they think to be is, the majority belief. There is no median, and no in-between.

Our world is corrupted by social media that shows us only what we want to see, and edited images of "beautiful," starving, malnourished and models that are supposedly representing what a typical woman would look like in a specific outfit (Newsflash!!! Nobody does!!). With all of these false advertisements flashing before our eyes, we lose sight of reality. It makes it hard for us to see what's really going on and the real consequences of our actions. Even if we do know the consequences, we still have to face down our friends and classmates who have also been corrupted by all these falsehoods.


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