01/04/2014 07:42 am ET Updated Jan 23, 2014

Greg Behrendt, Relationship Author, Explains How To Be Yourself On A First Date (VIDEO)

For many women, a first date is filled with pressure. Will he find me charming? What if I say the wrong thing? How will the night end? Could he be "the one"? As the author of It's Just a F***ing Date (co-written with wife Amiira Ruotola) as well as the bestseller He's Just Not That Into You, Greg Behrendt has gathered many relationship insights -- including the ins and outs of the pivotal first date.

On an episode of "Oprah's Lifeclass," Behrendt addresses the common problem of first-date jitters, brought up by a Canadian viewer named Melanie.

"I get really, really nervous and awkward on a first date because I'm kind of wrapped up in the idea that this person could potentially be 'the one,'" Melanie says. "How do I just relax and be myself and let go of that pressure?"

Behrendt says that having those thoughts is okay, but obsessing about them isn't. "If you let that overtake you, the dude will feel it, you'll say something that indicates it and then he's like, 'I gotta go,'" Behrendt cautions.

Instead, Behrendt shares a simple trick for how Melanie and other single women can relax and be themselves. "Pretend that that date is a dress rehearsal for another date," he says. "So go out on that date like, 'This is just one that I'm doing to get ready for dating.'"

Also in the video, Behrendt reveals who really holds all the power in a dating situation and explains how understanding this dynamic can make dating a lot easier.

The next new episode of "Oprah's Lifeclass" addresses colorism and airs Friday, January 10, at 9 p.m. ET on OWN.



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