02/07/2014 03:36 pm ET Updated Feb 08, 2014

28 Places That Would Have Made A Better Olympic Location Than Sochi

Bruce Bennett via Getty Images

As an Olympic location, Sochi is mediocre at best, and anti-gay, questionably safe and uncomfortable at worst. Here are 28 places that probably would have made better choices for the biggest sporting event in the world.

  1. Siberian desert
  2. North Korea
  3. The walk-in fridge at a Chuck E. Cheese in Topeka
  4. Your grandma's basement
  5. The rainforest
  6. The Rainforest Cafe
  7. The Titanic
  8. An abandoned mall
  9. Six Flags
  10. The house where Uncle Jack and his Nazi friends hung out
  11. McDonald's ballpit
  12. A junkyard
  13. Narnia
  14. A sauna filled with rotten meat
  15. Justin Bieber's cannabis den
  16. Mos Eisley Spaceport
  17. The Limelight
  18. Australia in the 1890s
  19. That giant pile of garbage floating in the ocean
  20. One of those islands made of guano
  21. Hill Valley (alternate 1985)
  22. Times Square at rush hour
  23. Highway 280 in Birmingham, Alabama that one day it snowed
  24. Those two closed lanes on the George Washington Bridge
  25. Cleveland
  26. An Italian prison
  27. A volcano
  28. Space