Poor Kristen Stewart. Last week she allowed Marie Claire to publish a poem she'd written. It didn't go down well. Newspapers, critics and Twitter users fell over themselves to condemn it as "the worst poem of all time", while the ink was still warm.
The evidence? Flagrant thesaurus abuse ("Your nature perforated the abrasive organ pumps"), self-indulgent line breaks ("this pining erosion is getting dust in / My eyes") and bits that are just plain, good, old-fashioned nonsense ("I reared digital moonlight"). It is not exactly Shakespeare.