Note: Do not read on if you have not yet seen Episode 8 of "Girls" Season 3, titled "Incidentals."
After last week's summery, narcissistic "Girls" episode, I was a little worried that the season would only go downhill from there. Luckily, I was wrong.
Sure, there were no choreographed dance routines in "Incidentals," but it was still a top-notch episode. We got to see all the girls together again, Patti Lupone showed up and Hannah, Marnie, Jessa and Shoshanna were at their best ... and worst.
With 10 being the most self-involved and 1 being the least, see how each of the girls scored in Season 3, Episode 8 of "Girls" titled "Incidentals."
The episode opens with Hannah sitting at a restaurant waiting for Patti Lupone to show up. She's pretty impressed with herself, much to the annoyance of the waitress, who has no idea who Patti Lupone is. Unfortunately Hannah never gets to show her off to the waitress because Patti fails to show up, so Hannah goes on a mission to find her. She's on deadline, after all -- she can't let GQ down!
Hannah finds Patti at rehearsal, where she agrees to give Hannah five minutes. The two of them discuss the bone density drug that supposedly worked miracles on Patti's faux-Osteoporosis for about a minute before bonding over their hatred of exercise. Halfway through, Hannah gets a call from Adam: He got cast in a Broadway show!
Patti isn't exactly jumping for joy at Hannah's news. Good luck, she cries -- he'll become an asshole! He'll cheat! Hannah tries to reassure Patti (and herself) that Adam is actually very funny looking, but Patti isn't convinced.
“The elephant man got laid a lot," she says.
Meanwhile, back at GQ, Janice & Co. are working on a listicle: 16 Reasons Why We’d Love To Stay At The Gramercy. And she's picked Hannah to spend the night there with her friends. Even better, she just got her first check from GQ. And it's more than her rent! So she decides to head to the meatpacking district and "make it rain" before hosting a party at the Gramercy for Adam, his new Broadway pal Desi and all of her friends. Looks like working in advertorial isn't too shabby after all.
She didn't do anything extraordinarily wonderful, but compared to last week Hannah was a saint.
Overall self-involvement: 5.
Well folks, it's another rough week in Marnie-ville. While she's innocently piling some mochi onto her yogurt, Soo Jin from her Booth Jonathan days appears behind her. Unlike Marnie, Soo Jin's doing well. She's opening her own gallery in NoHo because, she explains, she seriously like DGAF (doesn't give a fuuuuucckkk).
Their interaction is a little awkward, and Marnie makes it more awkward when she gives Soo Jin a sideways hug that she holds for a little too long as she says "I'm so happy for you."
She heads over to Ray's later with some pizza, where he swiftly breaks up with her. "I want a girlfriend, Marnie. Like a legitimate girlfriend," he says, adding, "I realize this doesn't make sense biologically."
“Was this your plan the whole time, Ray? To humiliate the girl you couldn’t get in high school?” she screeches.
Things start to look up when she makes her way to the Gramercy, receives a heartfelt hug from Hannah and becomes enchanted by Desi. The two start to hum a few tunes together, and it's pretty cute.
Also, Marnie has an AOL email address.
Overall self-involvement: 6.
Just last week, Jessa was spouting inspirational happiness quotes and turning down alcohol. This week, she's doing coke with her British rehab friend Jasper.
Jasper found her at her place of work, Sweet Emma. I'm confused both by how Sweet Emma stays in business and how Jasper found her, but he did, and despite Jessa's halfhearted protest -- “I have a job, I eat lunch every day .. I’m healthy! And the last thing I need is to be hanging out with you” -- it doesn't take him long to convince her to do a little coke with him.
Jasper and Jessa show up high at the Gramercy hotel where Hannah notes that she probably shouldn't have taken Jessa out of rehab, but Shoshanna's just excited to be able to have a conversation with people who talk as fast as fast as she does.
Well, Jessa's off the bandwagon. And it's not looking good.
Overall self-involvement: 9.
Last week's outburst was cool, but it looks like Shosh is back to her old self. She doesn't say anything extraordinarily stupid, but she does deliver one of the best lines of the episode:
“I recognize you from your part in 'One Tree Hill.' You played Lennon the disabled hockey player,” she says to Desi in complete awe.
As for Hannah, she shares Patti Lupone's worry also worry that her friend's relationship is doomed. "Oh my god, are you scared he’s gonna leave you for Sutton Foster?" she asks.
She may not have seemed like the brightest crayon in the box, but rest assured that Shoshanna is not intellectually unstimulating. Jessa saw her read the newspaper on her phone once.
Overall self-involvement: 4.
Girls" airs on Sundays at 10 p.m. EST on HBO.