04/11/2014 05:50 pm ET

HUFFPOST HILL - The Right To Bear Armed Children

South Carolina Republicans want to extend "Stand Your Ground" laws to the unborn -- which would be the strangest fetus-related political development to date had one Republican not suggested that fetuses masturbate. A reporter uttered the words "frothy treats" in the presence of a member of Congress and lived to tell the tale. And the head of the conservative Family Talk radio show doesn't want the GOP to hold its convention in Las Vegas, specifically citing the "64 pages" of escort services in the Yellow Pages. Also, the head of Family Talk knows that there are 64 pages of escort services in the Yellow Pages. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Friday, April 11th, 2014:

GOP LAUNCHES FIRST POST-McCUTCHEON RULING 'SUPER COMMITTEE' - It's like that moment in the crappy new Star Wars trilogy when the stormtroopers are revealed for the first time and the Imperial March plays...just like that. Paul Blumenthal: "The Republican Party has launched a 'super committee' to accept the super-sized donations from wealthy donors that are now possible because of the Supreme Court's ruling in McCutcheon v. Federal Election Commission. The Republican Victory Fund, registered with the FEC as a joint fundraising committee on Wednesday, will allow a single donor to write a check of $97,200 to be split among the Republican National Committee, the National Republican Senatorial Committee and the National Republican Congressional Committee. The GOP super committee was first reported by Politico. Last week the McCutcheon decision ended longstanding aggregate limits on campaign contributions that, in this election cycle, prevented a single donor from giving more than $48,600 to federal candidates, more than $74,600 to political parties and PACs, and more than $123,200 overall. The new super committee created by Republicans will facilitate the efforts of any donor that wishes to blow past the old $74,600 party limit. The previous largest check a donor could write to a joint fundraising committee was the $75,800 option offered in 2012 by both Obama Victory Fund and Romney Victory. That check would have combined contributions to a presidential campaign and party committees." [HuffPost]

SOME ACTIVISTS AFRAID OF HAVING GOP CONVENTION IN LAS VEGAS - But Sodom's six electoral votes and growing Hispanic population is just too tempting to pass up. Mother Jones: "Religious conservatives are urging the GOP to scratch Sin City off its list of potential locations for the 2016 Republican National Convention, the Dallas Morning News reports. According to the paper, advocates are concerned that Las Vegas' reputation as a gambling and prostitution haven will discourage conservatives from attending the event and that the city is a 'trap waiting to ensnare' convention attendees. 'The GOP is supposedly interested in reaching out to conservatives and evangelicals. Maybe that’s just a front, but if they really mean it this is not the way to do it,' James Dobson, founder of Family Talk, a Christian radio show that broadcasts across the United States, told the paper. 'Even though Vegas has tried to shore itself up and call itself family-friendly, it’s still a metaphor for decadence. There's still 64 pages of escort services in the yellow pages.' Dobson, along with leaders of the American Family Association, Eagle Forum, the Traditional Values Coalition, and Family-PAC sent a letter to Republican chairman Reince Priebus warning him to choose another destination." [MoJo]

The White House's 90s-themed Easter Egg Roll video invite is so pitch perfect you'd think the producers of "Family Feud" put it together.

FLORIDA CONSIDERING GUNS-FOR-EVERYONE-ALL-THE-TIME BILL - Stop robbing a convenience store while dressed in your mother's mumu and listen up, Florida Man: Florida Legislature is giving you a run for your money. Daily Beast: "[Y]ou could call Florida the Grand Ole Opry of gun nuttery. So sure, you might think the reaction to these high-profile case studies in the inanity of the Sunshine State’s gun laws might lead to a few common-sense restrictions, to at least somewhat call a halt to The Crazy. Yet, Florida—like its brethren also currently controlled by extremist, Tea Party lunatics—is going in completely the opposite direction. Presently, the gun monster’s reared its ugly head in the form of an NRA-backed bill in the statehouse—HB 209—that seeks to allow anyone lacking a concealed carry permit to go ahead and ignore that whole permit thing during 'riots' and other emergencies. Now imagine Hurricane Katrina or New York during the 9/11 attacks, but with every scared-out-of-their-wits Homo sapien carrying a piece and wanting you to say hello to their little friend? And what if World War Z should find Florida? OK, if The Zombie Apocalypse greets us, I’ll accept Wayne LaPierre’s call for all guns on deck. Otherwise? Sheer lunacy." [Daily Beast]

HuffBro Hiccup: We mistakenly called Lax Pinnies Lax "Pennies." Whatever, bro. We were too busy thinking about our loafer game.

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SCOTT BROWN STILL DRIVING TRUCK, NOW IN NEW HAMPSHIRE - God just the thought of all the forced "We're all Pats fans, right? Har har har." moments gives us the chills. Samantha Lachman: "Former Sen. Scott Brown (R-Mass.) released his first TV ad Thursday in his bid to unseat Sen. Jeanne Shaheen (D-N.H.), as he works to convince New Hampshire voters that he isn't simply a state-shopping carpetbagger. The ad features the pickup truck that also played a starring role in an ad run by Brown's campaign as he went up against Massachusetts Attorney General Martha Coakley (D) in the 2010 race to succeed the late Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.). In that ad, he said the truck had almost 200,000 miles, but it's since picked up many more. 'Scott Brown has almost 300,000 miles on this truck,' a male narrator says in the new ad. 'Over the last few weeks, it's taken him all across New Hampshire, listening, learning.' Brown embarked upon a listening tour across the 9,350 square mile-state of New Hampshire before last week's long-awaited announcement that he'll contest the Republican primary to challenge Shaheen. The truck trope has long been a favorite of Brown's. He closed his 2010 victory speech in Boston with 'I'm Scott Brown, I'm from Wrentham, I drive a truck, and I am nobody's senator but yours.'" [HuffPost]

The family that prays together in public, for political gain, stays together: "Marjorie Margolies’ Congressional campaign got a boost from the Big Dog today. With the May 20 primary less than six weeks away, the race for Pennsylvania’s thirteenth district is still up for grabs. President Bill Clinton, whose daughter Chelsea is married to Margolies’ son Marc Mezvinsky, joined the campaign in Philadelphia today for a high-profile and highly-publicized event at the high-end Warwick Hotel. 'I want to get one thing out of the way,' Clinton joked. 'I would be here if her son was not my son-in law.' The event was not open to the public without a donation. For $1,000, donors attended an hors d’oeuvres reception featuring remarks by Clinton. And $5000 bought a private VIP reception and photo opportunity with Clinton. The campaign tells ABC News the event raised over $200,000." [ABC News]

Matt Laslo's political interview show, "Bills and Brews," needs your money. In its latest installment, Matt talks to members of Congress about craft beers and asks them about... ahem.. "frothy treats."

SOUTH CAROLINA PANEL PASSES LAW LETTING FETUSES PACK HEAT... OR SOMETHING - We give it five years until union members are exempted from "Stand Your Ground" laws. Shadee Ashtari: "The South Carolina Senate Judiciary Subcommittee voted 3-2 Thursday to approve the 'Pregnant Women's Protection Act,' a measure that would expand the state's 'Stand Your Ground' law to permit pregnant women to use deadly force in defense of an unborn child, beginning at conception. Opponents of the bill, sponsored by state Sen. Katrina Shealy (R), said the legislation is redundant under the state’s existing 'Stand Your Ground' law, arguing that no situation exists in which an unborn child would be threatened when the mother was not. Pro-choice advocates also condemned the measure as a back-door effort to ban abortions by defining an 'unborn child' as 'the offspring of human beings from conception until birth.'...Currently, at least 23 states maintain fetal homicide laws expanding the prosecution of crimes against pregnant women to include the earliest stages of pregnancy, including 'any state of gestation,' 'conception' or 'fertilization' in Kansas, Mississippi and Pennsylvania, respectively." [HuffPost]

During her farewell address today, Kathleen Sebelius' speech crashed: "Talk about having to turn the page quickly. Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius suffered an unexpected gaffe during her resignation speech on Friday, when part of her prepared remarks went missing. She recovered quickly though, saying 'Unfortunately, a page is missing,' before continuing to speak." [HuffPost]

WENDY DAVIS TO HOLD FUNDRAISER WITH SECOND-GREATEST LIVING NELSON - We can't all be the greatest son of Nels. Samantha Lachman: "Texas state Sen. Wendy Davis (D), who is running to succeed Gov. Rick Perry (R), unveiled a special guest for an April BBQ fundraiser in Houston: country music legend and activist Willie Nelson. In a Friday email to supporters, Davis said Nelson, who was born in Abbott, Texas, would perform at the April 27 event. 'No, folks, I’m not kidding,' Davis' email reads. 'We’ll have some amazing Texas BBQ. We’ll be talking about the future of our great state. And at the end of the night, we’ll have a special performance by Willie.' Davis is working to close the gap in the polls between her and Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott, the Republican nominee. Nelson is no stranger to political activism: he serves as co-chair of the advisory board of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, which favors marijuana legalization. He has also campaigned for marriage equality and LGBT rights, and frequently spoke in opposition to the Iraq war." [HuffPost]

BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - Here is an unreasonable baby.

THERE WILL BE JUSTICE FOR YOU, YET, SHAMU - Sure, Free Willy is "free" if you count being tied up in the appeals process and weighed down by Arent Fox retainers "free." Guardian: "A US appeals court on Friday upheld a federal occupational safety agency's finding against SeaWorld Entertainment Inc, following the workplace death of one of its killer whale trainers. The ruling by the US court of appeals for the District of Columbia circuit could have a major impact on how SeaWorld presents its shows, because it would require increased separation of humans and killer whales. The three-judge panel, split 2-1, held that SeaWorld had violated its duties as an employer by exposing trainers to 'recognized hazards' when working with killer whales. A spokesman for SeaWorld, which operates 11 parks around the US, had no immediate comment on the ruling. The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) had fined the company $75,000 after trainer Dawn Brancheau died in February 2010. She drowned after being pulled underwater by Tilikum, a 12,000lb bull orca at the SeaWorld site in Orlando, Florida." [Guardian]


- A video demonstrating what would happen if women hit on men the way men hit on women. [http://bit.ly/1sNgav7]

- If you're a pimp: 1. Why are you reading this? 2. Don't record your crimes in an autobiography like this guy. [http://vnty.fr/1kCojRy]

- Peter Dinklage's Reddit AMA was phenomenal. [http://bit.ly/OPUkH4]

- A Kurt Cobain-less Nirvana performed last night in Greenpoint. [http://bit.ly/1hGwNzb]

- Videos of people base jumping off of eight famous buildings. Don't try this at home... unless your home is a giant and famous building... then have at it. [http://bit.ly/1iE2GLe]

- An infographic describing tables manners from across the globe. [http://bit.ly/1ndoRuE]


@SimonMaloy: I want a vox dot com article on how the X-men's jet works: X-Plane, Explained

@GrahamDavidA: Is it Edwin Edwards? RT @baseballcrank: Louisiana has an official State Fossil bit.ly/1n11GGs

@jesseberney: In the future,* all bills will be named for popular internet memes.

*pretty much next week

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