He will remember the Alamo for at least 18 months.
On Monday, 23-year-old Daniel Athens of El Paso, Texas was sentenced to 18 months in state prison and ordered to pay $4,000 in restitution after he admitted to criminal mischief, according to the Smoking Gun.
The sentence was part of a plea deal reached after an April 2012 incident in which Athens was caught by an Alamo Ranger in a "chained off area not open to the public” zipping up after urinating on the historic landmark.
But lest you think this is a curious sentence, rest assured: American justice may be tough, but it is also evenly applied.
Unless you are the great grandson of a chemical baron who was convicted of raping your 3-year-old daughter.
Or if you're the wealthy drunk driver of a car that killed four people.
Or an employee of a bank that helped violent drug cartels launder millions of dollars.
If you're any of those people, you won't spend a day in jail. But, help facilitate the further erosion of a national monument and you'll spend more than a year behind bars paying for your crime.