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04/15/2014 11:08 am ET Updated Apr 15, 2014

When The Criticisms Never End

Uwe Umstatter via Getty Images

Five nights a week, Amanda H. and her husband drove to her parents’ upscale continuing care retirement community in suburban Boston. She could feel her anxiety build as they rode the elevator upstairs.

For two hours, they ferried dinner from the dining room, transferred it to china, set the table. Amanda hand-fed her father, whose neurological disorder, multiple system atrophy, makes it difficult for him to maneuver a fork. “It’s unsightly and embarrassing for him,” she said, so her parents ate in their independent living apartment.

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