04/29/2014 02:36 pm ET Updated Apr 29, 2014

Meet The Columbia University Male Escort Who Gives The Duke Porn Star A Run For Her Money

Chris Schmidt via Getty Images

On more than a few occasions, I've been paid about $800 to sit in a room and pop balloons while a woman masturbates.

It's not the strangest request I've ever gotten, but it's probably the easiest as far as regular clients go, if you ignore the jarring anxiety and probably permanent ear damage that comes with popping balloons for two hours.

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