That escalated quickly.
A Vine making the rounds this week shows one teenage girl hit another girl in the head with a shovel -- but the six-second clip doesn't tell the whole story.
The full story is even dumber than the Vine implies. In an eight-minute video -- which was taken down from YouTube but is still available above -- the pair agrees to fight. They bring some friends along as they trudge through the woods, headed for a front yard that they eventually spar in.
They trade punches, slaps, kicks and insults before taking a break to chat, then start the process over again several times. Neither of them back down, that is, until the shovel comes out.
Nobody was ever charged with a crime, but we can't imagine either of these girls walked away without a few lumps on their heads. Watch the full video above, or just look at that Vine, which Deadspin loves:
I've never tried to hit anyone in the head with a shovel, but I don't think the maneuver could be pulled off more perfectly than it is here. This little girl is not to be fucked with, man. She is not to be fucked with at all.
A flurry of hysteria follows, and it's suddenly clear that we are in a place that is a recession or two away from being the town from Winter's Bone.
We eventually rejoin the tall girl, who has been felled just beyond the tree line. Laying supine, she complains that she cannot hear, on account of the shovel that busted her in her head.
UPDATE: 'Shovel Girl' is doing just fine, as Deadspin and the Vine below point out: