May showers bring … June’s sweltering heat? This is THE MORNING EMAIL for Tuesday, May 13, 2014.
The Scuttlebutt
- Sandy Hook “truthers” are terrorizing the victims’ families
- Donald Sterling botches his apology by attacking Magic Johnson
- Watch Solange Knowles viciously attack Jay Z after the Met Gala
ICE MELTING FASTER THAN EXPECTED
“The huge West Antarctic ice sheet is starting a glacially slow collapse in an unstoppable way, two new studies show. Alarmed scientists say that means even more sea level rise than they figured.” Watch the ice slowly disappear, and find out which regions will be most affected (Goodbye, Florida). [AP]
SECOND CONFIRMED CASE OF MERS IN U.S.
“U.S. health officials said on Monday a second case of MERS, a deadly virus first discovered in the Middle East, has been confirmed in the state of Florida.” Here’s what you need to know about the virus that kills half the people it infects. [Reuters]
STERLING: ‘MAGIC JOHNSON, WHAT HAS HE DONE? HE’S GOT AIDS’
“Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling couldn't even apologize without making more inflammatory comments. In an interview with CNN's Anderson Cooper that aired Monday night, Sterling admitted that he ‘made a terrible mistake’ by uttering the racist remarks that earned him exile from the NBA, but he also took a shot at Magic Johnson.” He also believes the Clippers players still “love him.” Delusionment at its finest. [HuffPost]
STATESIDE: Mental Illness Today
Of all the things to steal from President Garfield’s tomb, thieves took this. Sandy Hook “truthers” are vandalizing playgrounds erected as memorials to the 26 victims. A New Hampshire police officer was shot and killed minutes before the house he was sent to check on exploded in a fiery blaze. Clay Aiken’s North Carolina primary opponent Keith Crisco was found dead in his home yesterday. And USA Today takes a heartbreaking look at the status of the mentally ill in the U.S.
In good college try news, this dog just cannot catch these treats.
INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE: E.U. vs Google 
Ukraine Separtists formally asked to join Russia yesterday. Former Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert was sentenced to six years in prison after being found guilty of bribery. Relatives recognized some of the kidnapped schoolgirls pictured in Boko Haram’s latest ransom video. A satellite communications company has offered to track all planes so MAH Flight 370 doesn’t happen again. The kidnapped Jordanian ambassador to Libya has been freed and is en route to his family. According to the Human Watch Campaign, Syria has continued to use chemical weapons. And the EU's high ruled that “individuals can ask Google Inc. to remove links to news articles, court judgments and other documents in search results for their name.”
In master of the photobomb news, these dogs know how to do it right.
BUY! SELL! BUY! Huge Merger News
This is how you retire on social security. Another day, another monopolistic merger: AT&T is in talks to buy DirectTV. Attorney General Eric Holder is going after the banks. And these are the best small and mid-sized cities for jobs.
In it feels like yesterday news, see these adorable pets go from babies to grown-ups.
SCOUTING REPORT: Being Tall is Pretty Nice
Grantland takes a look at the understated brilliance of the San Antonio Spurs. This chart explains why cheerleading is the most dangerous girl’s high school sport. Here’s a look at America's World Cup chances. And this high schooler is the tallest basketball player in the country … and he's still growing. [Image via Deadspin]
In a game we would actually excel at news, meet big hole golf.
CULTURE CATCH-UP: Godzilla! 
Frozen’s Elsa is coming to ABC’s “Once Upon a Time” after being introduced in its season finale. “Godzilla” hits theaters this weekend, and its director Gareth Edwards walks us through why it’s a summer blockbuster that’s NOT a summer blockbuster. Fox released the trailers for its fall lineup, and we’re in for a lot of damaged detectives. Top 40’s Casey Kasem is missing. And this is what the new batmobile looks like.
In hightened senses news, this blind dog can play quite the game of catch.
LIVIN’: Twitter’s Mute Button
This is what your handwriting says about you -- we either have bodies stuffed in a meat locker somewhere or are too lazy to write neatly. You can now retrofit your toilet to automatically flush. The concept art for the new Harry Potter themepark ride looks pretty darn fantastic. This may be the ultimate advancement in bacon: whiskey-flavored pigs.Twitter now has a mute button -- because you can only handle so many "100 problems" jokes about Jay Z. And here’s a bunch of delectable cookie dough recipes, because we’re trying really hard to break you of your summer swimsuit diet.
In buckle up news, these pets get high marks for seatbelt safety.
OTHER PEOPLE’S BUSINESS: Solange Sure Can High Kick
ICYMI: Here's the video of Solange Knowles, Beyonce’s sister, attacking Jay Z in an elevator after the Met Ball. Queen B and her man looked perfectly happy at the Nets game last night, so presumably they exiled Solange to an island far, far away. Another man has come forward alleging Michael Jackson abused him as a boy. Elle Fanning made a crop top look classy AND got a laugh from Angelina Jolie. Karl Rove thinks Hillary Clinton has brain damage. And Miley Cryus had one heckuva onstage rant about her ex, Liam Hemsworth.
In projectile news, this is why you should keep your distance from llamas.
TWITTERATI
@rainnwilson: Attention white people: "Dream Catchers" were not designed for rear view mirrors.
@big_picture: There are 814 million eligible voters in India. Some photos from the elections: http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2014/05/india_elections_exit_polls_predict_modi_win.html pic.twitter.com/SMKjH7JsbY
@petewentz: Where'd you learn artificial respiration? French class
@piersmorgan: 'Love your laxative!' - I don't think I'll ever get used to American TV commercials. #CNN
@MixTapper: the internet never sleeps #WhatJayZSaidToSolange pic.twitter.com/ZgNdRaeoe2
ONE MORE THING
This is what James Bond’s email would look like.
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