BUSINESS
05/21/2014 01:20 pm ET Updated May 21, 2014

Think The New McDonald's And Lemonhead Mascots Are Creepy? Just Take A Look At These.

In just the last week, McDonald's and Lemonhead candy have gotten new soul-shattering corporate mascots that have sent the Internet into an all-out panic.

On the left, we have the horrifying new version of Lemonhead, complete with vacant stare, bile-hued complexion and patch of cranial pubic hair. On the right, "Happy," whose piercing, unblinking eyes will suffocate your spirit in a death curtain of despair.

lemonheadmcdonalds

But while these two mascots are unambiguously creepy, they still just barely crack the list of creepiest mascots of all time. I mean, there's some tough competition out there.

For example, this is what the Michelin Man used to look like:

The photo is reportedly from the early 1900s.

The Green Giant used to be way less concerned about his health.

oskiSomething about a vegetable man smoking a pipe just feels wrong.

And Ronald McDonald used to be way more terrifying.

Who knew a cup on a nose could be so bone-chilling?

Same goes for McDonald's Mayor McCheese.

mayor mccheeseA lawsuit in the early 1970s put the Mayor out of commission.

Thank goodness this guy was retired in 2011.

burger king the king mascot

The Snowlets from the 1998 Nagano Winter Games were memorable the least memorable characters ever.

snowlets

Really, only Wenlock and Mandeville of the 2012 London Summer Olympics could compete for that title.

wenlock and mandevilleYeah, just really don't remember these ... are they dudes? Aliens? Computers?

But yeah, we're definitely not going to forget the Evergreen State mascot Speedy the Geoduck anytime soon.

speedyApparently, it's pronounced gooey-duck.

Nor will we be able to forget Blowie the Blowfish.

blowie

We'd love to erase this image of the Providence College Friar from our memory.

providence friar

And while we're on college mascots, let's take a look at Wichita State's WuShock, which supposedly resembles a bundle of wheat. A bundle of wheat wearing a toupée.

wichita state shocker

This is Buffalo Bell from the Japanese Baseball team the Orix Buffaloes.

orix buffaloesYep, things are definitely getting weird.

And words defy the New Orleans Pelicans' mascot King Cake Baby.

King Cake Baby
But he does ♥ that cake.

We'd say the same for Mr. Poo, but the whole point is spreading awareness about the dangers of public defecation in India.

poo2looThose flies let you know it's definitely not soft serve.

And last but certainly not least, this guy: Senor Testiculo.

Señor Testiculo: Brazil's New Mascot for Testicular Cancer

Yes, he is a scrotum designed to raise awareness about testicular cancer.

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