05/27/2014 10:56 am ET

The Considerably Older Guy's Advice On Friendship

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As a Considerably Older Guy, you'll find that friends are more important than ever. The trick is to find some.

Many have left the planet. Others have hidden away in fear, convinced that an aggrieved relative is out to smother them.

Bachelor friends, in a last ditch try for happiness, have gotten married, a surprising number to cleaning ladies. A wife with a cleaning lady background will tend to monopolize your friend's time, although, to be fair, his apartment will be spotless.

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