06/02/2014 08:24 am ET Updated Jun 02, 2014

'Veep' Season 3 Episode 8 Recap: Selina Gets A Twitch And A Bad Haircut


"Veep" Season 3 Episode 8 featured the absolute worst political debate in history. Drain plugs, eye twitches, loop (and legitimate) holes and that one forgotten R left all the candidates broken and battered as baseball coach Joe Thornhill pulled ahead in the polls. Selina got a terrible haircut, Dan came back from that mental breakdown and one speechwriter sucked.

Here are the best one-liners -- including one great Jonah diss -- from "Debate."

Mike McLintock
  • Of course I don't like it, Gary. It's the worst use of scissors since my vasectomy.
  • Think of all the lesbian jokes we're going to have to suffer. Strap on Selina. Seline Navratilova. Fingering the dyke.
  • That's what marriage is, a conflict of interests.
Dan Egan
  • I did not need to be cured, Michael. I diagnosed myself with an acute case with Everything's Gonna Be Fine.
  • Go fuck yourself Jack in the Giant Fruitstalk.
Kent Davison
  • I don't enjoy touching children's faces, Dan. Neither should you.
  • World's worst boy band member ever, right there.
Amy Brookheimer
  • If there is any dirty trick that I cannot stand, it's honesty.
Selina Meyer
  • My position has always been clear on immigration. What the fuck was that thing?
Catherine Meyer
  • What is it with you guys? It's like flirting but sexless.
Ben Caffrey
  • Thank God for twitchy, he really saved that. Love that little guy.