07/07/2014 03:34 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

BREAKING NEWS: Block Of Ice Melts In Denver

In the most important piece of journalism since the publication of the Pentagon Papers, a block of ice is melting in Denver.

KUSA graced us with this tweet at 3:07 p.m. ET, pointing us to its BREAKING NEWS LIVE FEED for a special report on an ice block that is maybe sort of melting in the back of a vehicle. Its whereabouts is unknown. All we know is that time is running out.

The ice block hasn't melted yet as of 3:24 p.m., even as the car approaches 120 degrees Fahrenheit.

Watch as ice's natural reaction to heat unfolds right before your eyes! The drama! The intensity! THE MADNESS. We wonder if this will be the new form of entertainment-meets-important-breaking-news media, or if it's just a passing (yet viral!) fad. Only KUSA can tell us.

UPDATE 3:56 p.m. ET:

UPDATE 4:16 p.m. ET: The tape appears to have fallen off a clock inside the vehicle. A crafty gentleman is in the vehicle fixing it. The ice appears to be doing fine.

UPDATE 4:37 p.m. ET: We can hear -- though we cannot confirm -- what sounds like water dripping into a bucket. This may or may not mean the ice is melting.

UPDATE 5:03 p.m. ET: The ice is beginning to melt. Experts say the block is smaller than it was before.

Anyway, stay tuned to the live feed above for updates. If our headline alone doesn't tempt you into reading this story, just look at KUSA's BREAKING NEWS LIVE FEED PAGE:

ice block melting