These beautiful summer desserts have fruit in them, so you’re totally good to eat them without remorse, right? This is THE MORNING EMAIL for Thursday, July 17, 2014.
The Scuttlebutt
- Even more vials of deadly viruses were found in an FDA supply closet
- You too can be an English Lord -- if you can buy an estate
- Kate Middleton pregnancy rumors continue to grow
THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM
“A five-hour humanitarian truce agreed by Israel and Hamas came into force on Thursday, hours after the Israeli military said it fought Palestinian gunmen who infiltrated from Gaza. About a dozen Palestinian fighters tunneled under the border, emerging near an Israeli community, and at least one was killed after Israeli aircraft bombed the group, the military said.” The New York Times reports that a ground invasion is “increasingly likely.” This graphic breaks down the bloody toll the conflict has taken. And the photographer who captured the heartrending photos of the aftermath of a rocket that killed four Palestinian cousins gives an account of the day. [Reuters]
WORTH THE RISK AT THE BORDER
“The ceaseless river of bodies flowing through the morgue in San Pedro Sula is a sobering testament to one reason so many people leave Central America to risk it all on a long, perilous journey to the United States. In a country with rampant crime and little economic opportunity, even the prospect of a dangerous journey is overshadowed by the potential reward of a new life north of the border.” And here’s an explainer on what’s drawing kids to the border. [CNN]
SANCTIONS FOR RUSSIA 
“Struggling to defuse the persistent crisis in Ukraine, both the U.S. and European Union imposed new economic sanctions on Russia Wednesday, with President Barack Obama declaring that Russian leaders must see that their actions supporting rebels ‘have consequences.’" The sanctions target companies closest to Vladimir Putin, who was obviously not a fan of the move. [AP]
STATESIDE: California’s Death Penalty Dies
A federal judge struck down California’s death penalty, ruling it unconstitutional. An alarming number of dangerous diseases were found in an unsecured FDA storage room. A man was arrested for allegedly posing as a TSA agent and groping two women in the San Francisco airport. More and more cities are essentially making homelessness a crime. And a Northern California bank robbery and the resulting police chase ended in three deaths.
In pure happiness news, watch these parents surprise their little girl with a puppy.
INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE: Attack on Kabul Airport
Gunmen attacked Kabul’s International Airport with rockets. President Obama is looking to extend nuclear negotiations with Iran. Australian lawmakers repealed the controversial carbon tax. No one is really clear on why a giant hole has appeared in Siberia. Check out the most complete mapping of Mars’ surface. And NASA’s deputy chief scientist for solar system exploration believes we will find extraterrestrial life in the next twenty years.
In scaredy cat news, these cats are terrified by moving carpets.
BUY! SELL! BUY! Bad News for Microsoft Workers 
Massive layoffs at Microsoft are coming today. Amazon is testing out a Netflix-esque model for the Kindle. Here’s how austerity is affecting America, according to the Center for American Progress. Check out how you can buy yourself the title of Lord in England (and a mountainous estate, too). Medicaid patients are suing after being denied a $300,000 drug for their cystic fibrosis.
In skillz news, this man can pour a full beer using only his forehead.
SCOUTING REPORT: Always Pick Richard Sherman
Here’s everything you need to finally draft a half-decent fantasy football team. Argentina’s president is basically the worst soccer fan of all time. You should follow Joel Embiid on Twitter -- now. Grantland has an MLB midseason report card. And Yasiel Puig is apparently very, very scared of thunderstorms.
In doggie physical therapy news, these K9s can still play fetch with their wheelcarts.
CULTURE CATCH-UP: Oh Lana... 
When asked about her music, Lana del Rey replied, “I don’t want them to hear it and think about it.” Find out what your state’s “Game of Thrones” sigil looks like. Here’s how Hollywood’s leading ladies measure up height-wise. Marvel announced that the latest Captain America will be black. And all those Adele album and tour rumors may not be true after all.
In astronaut training news, this little girl can spin awfully fast.
LIVIN’: Gchat Addicts Anonymous
This study proves our greatest fear: Gchat destroys productivity. Check out how you can rock Emma Watson’s style. Could this pill help prevent Alzheimer’s? A new study validates the logic of every kid who wants to quit practicing the piano. And here’s how you can wear overalls and get away with it.
In confused news, these toddlers don’t know what to do with themselves at a rock concert.
OTHER PEOPLE’S BUSINESS: A New Royal?!?
Kate Middleton pregnancy rumors are spreading. You won’t believe which celebrities on Twitter are the smartest. It pays to be Lady Gaga’s assistant: Mother Monster’s ex-assistant is being paid $1 million to write a tell-all. And find out what Selena Gomez’s new Arabic tattoo means.
In sing-a-long news, this dog loves to sing in his sleep.
TWITTERATI
@AnnaKendrick47: Just sat in my car and sang along to Dashboard Confessional even though I got home halfway through the song. Because I'm 14. #Feeeeeeels
@TheRock: Fanny pack and lean take it to a whole other level.. #90sRock #WTF #BuffLesbian pic.twitter.com/dyqCDCBEZc
@fairlyspiritual: When Disney kills off Mickey then we know all humanity jumped the shark #archie
@khloekardashian: Anywhere I would have followed you
@Sarah_Hyland: I found one!!!! It's alive!!!!!!!! #blockbuster
ONE MORE THING
Prepare yourself: here’s the ultimate brunch guide.
Got something to add? Send tips/quips/quotes/stories/photos/events/scoops to Lauren Weber (lauren.weber@huffingtonpost.com). Follow us on Twitter (@LaurenWeberHP). Does somebody keep forwarding you this newsletter? Get your own copy. It's free! Sign up here.