The rise of e-readers may have made the success of books like Fifty Shades Of Grey possible by allowing people to read privately in public, but that doesn't mean that privacy doesn't come with its own set of problems.
Simply put, if you're making your way through James Joyce's Ulysses, you want people to know you're making your way through James Joyce's Ulysses. Showing off a little is your right as a book reader.
But e-readers make it so that the titles you're reading are visible only to you -- a clear design flaw for proud members of the literati.
Thankfully, satirical news site The Onion came up with the perfect solution in the video above.
In addition to being thinner and smarter, The Onion's redesigned Kindle would also "loudly and repeatedly announce the title of the book you're reading so that everyone knows how smart you are." So whether you're chapters-deep in Vonnegut or paging your way through Murakami, you (and your incredible taste in literature) are set.
"You know, I wasn't planning on getting a tablet. I love that feeling of paper in your hands as you angle the cover for everyone to see, but this Kindle is just as good," says Brandon Soloner, (fake) Kindle Flare user.
The Onion also imagines what Pulitzer Prize-winning author Junot Díaz would (probably not) say if the product was released: "The only thing that matters is getting my work into the hands of readers, so they can impress strangers and maybe sleep with someone who thinks they're interesting."
Prepare your e-bookshelves, readers. This Kindle Flare is starting to sound like a really good idea.