08/06/2014 09:29 am ET Updated Aug 06, 2014

IT HAPPENED TO ME: My Rapist Sued Me For Defamation

Frances Twitty via Getty Images

In the wake of conversations surrounding the hashtags #YesAllWomen, #SurvivorPrivilege, and #JadePose, I’m reminded of the survivors who quoted reasons for not reporting their own sexual assaults under #WhyIDidntReport. Still some claim survivors have a duty to put themselves on the line for a legal system that proves time and time again to fail them, and if they don’t, they are blamed for this crime perpetuating in society.

I can relate to #WhyIDidntReport. I was sexually exploited in relationships for much of my youth and young adult life, although what happened I still can’t label as rape. My experiences were no different from my peers who were just discovering sex for the first time with little or no direction from the adult role models in their lives. We were taught that rape is violent; it requires you to scream, “no” and physically fight your attacker off. Coercion, threats of violence, and having sex with a passed out body, were not rape. They were not mentioned. But this is exactly what was happening to me and teens all around the world.

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