08/20/2014 10:25 am ET Updated Aug 20, 2014

On Hair, There And Everywhere, And Intra-Cultural Shame

Hemant Mehta via Getty Images

“A girl told me today that I would be a lot prettier if I got my eyebrows threaded. So I told her she’d be a lot prettier if she got surgery to turn her fivehead into a forehead!!”

File that one under the “swing and a miss” column of my sick burn top hits listicle, but biting wit notwithstanding, my mother was unperturbed.

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