09/11/2014 06:02 pm ET Updated Sep 11, 2014

This Is The Most Intense List Of Demands You've Ever Seen On OKCupid

Carlina Teteris via Getty Images

Only an hour ago, I was sitting in my living room petting my guinea pigs and being blissfully unaware that the person you are about to meet exists. But then, a tipster (let's call him Brian, because that is his name) sent in the most nutty list of demands you've seen on OKCupid since...ever. Oh my god, what even is this?

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