POLITICS
09/25/2014 05:51 pm ET

HUFFPOST HILL - Darrell Issa Suddenly Feels So... Empty

Eric Holder announced his resignation, setting up Debo Adegbile's nomination and breezy confirmation to his post. Questions linger about whether Bill de Blasio killed a groundhog, but there’s no question that he murdered something far more precious: CAPITALISM. And Kansas airwaves are filled with political ads starring naked people while its government is auctioning off sex toys. Why Pat Roberts refuses to live there is beyond us. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Thursday, September 25th, 2014:

BAI, ERIC HOLDER - Holder made history when he became history's first chronically miserable attorney general. He's also black. Ryan Reilly and Paige Lavender: "Attorney General Eric Holder, the first African-American to hold the nation’s top law enforcement position, announced on Thursday his plan to resign the post he’s held for nearly six years as soon as a successor can be confirmed. At the formal announcement at the White House, an emotional Holder thanked President Barack Obama for what he called the 'greatest honor' of his professional life. 'I have loved the Department of Justice ever since, as a young boy, I watched Robert Kennedy prove during the Civil Rights Movement how the department can – and must – always be a force for that which is right,' Holder said. 'I hope that I have done honor to the faith you placed in me, Mr. President, and to the legacy of all those that served before me.'...Holder discussed his plans with Obama on several occasions over the last few months, and finalized his decision at the White House residence over Labor Day weekend, according to a DOJ official. If Holder stays in office until December, he will become the third-longest serving attorney general in the history of the United States." [HuffPost]

@Milbank: Who will cast aspersions on Louie Gohmert's asparagus now?

Ted Cruz: "It is good news that Eric Holder has announced his resignation. Sadly, he has proven to be the most partisan attorney general in our history, repeatedly defying and refusing to enforce the law." These two teams just don't like each other.

COVINGTON & BURLING ALERT- David Dayen: "The telling sentence in NPR’s report that US attorney general Eric Holder plans to step down once a successor is confirmed came near the end of the story. 'Friends and former colleagues say Holder has made no decisions about his next professional perch,' NPR writes, 'but they say it would be no surprise if he returned to the law firm Covington & Burling, where he spent years representing corporate clients.'" Aw, Dayen's just cranky Holder didn't prosecute financial fraud.[Guardian]

Let the great speculation...BEGIN!!! "Before Attorney General Eric Holder’s resignation had even been formally announced by President Barack Obama, rumored successors began ruling themselves out. Both Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse of Rhode Island and fellow Democrat Deval Patrick, the governor of Massachusetts, swiftly took themselves out of the running, hoping to quell the growing whispers that they could succeed Holder at the Justice Department...Whitehouse, a former U.S. attorney and Rhode Island attorney general, said it would be an “honor” to be considered for the job but that he had no interest in leaving the Senate, where he’s known as one of the top voices in Congress on climate change...Patrick, a close friend of the president who has shared some of Obama’s senior advisers, has also been on speculative short lists for Supreme Court openings." [Politico]

DAILY DELANEY DOWNER - SMDH, Mims beer distributing company, for getting sued by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission over this. "According to the EEOC's complaint, Christopher Alston is a practicing Rastafarian. As a Rastafarian, he cannot cut his hair and, in accordance with these religious beliefs, has not cut his hair since at least 2009. Alston applied for a job as a delivery driver with Mims Distributing Company in May 2014. At that time, the company informed Alston that he would have to cut his hair if he wanted the position." The religious liberty crowd will surely rally to Alston's support. [EEOC]

DOUBLE DOWNER - "I am 23 years old. I've got $60,000 in debt from student loans. I make around $9 an hour working as a cook, and I live off of about $20 a week after I cover rent and other expenses. Since I graduated, my degree has been pretty much useless." [HuffPost's Akbar Ahmed]

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BOEHNER WANTS TO DELAY WAR VOTE UNTIL NEXT YEAR - Igor Bobic: "In theory, when the U.S. deploys forces in military conflicts abroad, Congress is expected to debate and subsequently vote on the matter. Not so with the Obama administration's escalated military campaign against the Islamic State. House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) said in an interview published Thursday that while Congress should eventually weigh in, it would be inappropriate to do so during the lame-duck session that will follow the November elections. 'Doing this with a whole group of members who are on their way out the door, I don’t think that is the right way to handle this,' he told The New York Times. Boehner, who supports an expanded American military role to defeat the extremists, said the matter of authorizing military force instead should be revisited when the new Congress convenes in January." [HuffPost]

PAT ROBERTS ISN'T IN KANSAS ANYMORE, HAR HAR HAR - "U.S. Sen. Pat Roberts put a signature to documents associated with the mortgage on a Virginia residence that identify the Fairfax County home as 'principal residence' of the three-term incumbent Republican. The re-election campaign of the Kansan has been awash in controversy about whether his ownership of a duplex in Dodge City, which is rented out, and his payment of about $300 a month for a room in a Dodge City supporter's home satisfied legal requirements for public office. On Wednesday, records surfaced that Roberts signed a Deed of Trust in 1997 and 2003 for property owned in Alexandria, Va., with his wife, Franki, that contained text about a principal residence." [Capital-Journal]

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH KANSAS, SEX TOY EDITION - Dear god we hope the sex toys were purchased from a place called "Dorothy's House." Samantha Lachman: "Kansas' budget woes are so dire that the state government has resorted to selling off furry handcuffs and vibrators seized by its revenue department. The Topeka Capital-Journal first reported on the sale Wednesday, explaining that the new bounty, numbering in the thousands of items, resulted from a five-shop, four-city raid on a company that owed more than $163,000 in state taxes. Kansas negotiated with the owner, returning the merchandise under the condition that he auction off the toys and use the money towards paying back the state. Democrats noted the irony of the sale, given that Republicans allied with Gov. Sam Brownback (R) had criticized Brownback's Democratic challenger Paul Davis for being at a strip club during a drug raid in 1998." [HuffPost]

Today in Congressional ads: "I'm Kelly Kultala, a while back Congressman Yoder made news by skinny dipping on the job. But it's more shameless what he's doing to Kansas..." That's followed by a bunch of naked people. [YouTube]

LIFE IS HOPELESS UPDATE: MASS SHOOTINGS ON THE RISE - Happy Thursday! Enjoying the rain? Ryan Reilly: "Mass shooting incidents are generally on the rise in America, according to FBI officials who have studied the topic...A new study released by the FBI on Wednesday focused on 160 'active shooter' incidents from 2000 through 2013, in which police were called to respond to an unfolding situation involving one or more individuals attempting to kill people. Incidents that resulted from gang or drug violence were excluded. The report covered both high-profile attacks -- including those in Aurora, Colorado, and Newtown, Connecticut, and at Fort Hood, Texas, and Virginia Tech -- and shootings that didn’t turn into nationally covered events -- like those at a cafe in Florida in 2010 and at a house party in the South Jamaica section of Queens, New York, in 2011. A total of 486 people were killed and 557 people injured in the 160 shootings examined." [HuffPost]

BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - Here's an incredibly adorable argument between toddlers.

DOES BILL DE BLASIO KILL TINY WOODLAND CREATURES? - Good lord, this story. NYT: "On Thursday, Mayor Bill de Blasio stood accused of inadvertent rodenticide stemming from an episode in February, when Mr. de Blasio, amid the pageantry of Groundhog Day shadow-watching, dropped the star of the early-morning event. According to an article in The New York Post, Charles G. Hogg, known as Chuck to Staten Island Zoo visitors, died one week later of 'internal injuries' that were 'consistent with a fall.' Also, Chuck was a female named Charlotte. The article alleged a 'cover-up' by the zoo on both fronts. By midmorning on Thursday, though, the mystery had deepened, with zoo officials and a local Democratic assemblyman presenting an alternative timeline that seemed to absolve the mayor. After wriggling from Mr. de Blasio’s grasp on Feb. 2, the zoo said, the groundhog received 'a complete medical examination' that revealed no sign of trauma or pain. The animal participated in several events over the next week, exhibiting no unusual behavior or appetite issues." [NYT]

COMFORT FOOD

- An unprecedented tour of the CIA's museum.

- Kate Mara and Ellen Page in "Tiny Detectives," a "True Detectives" spoof.

- An 8-bit version of "The Matrix."

- Horses are all about that bass.

TWITTERAMA

@milbank: Who will cast aspersions on Louie Gohmert's asparagus now?

@jbendery: Michele Bachmann is 1) out of a job after November and 2) an attorney. Just saying.

@daveweigel: Looking tight in the race to replace Holder as AG. Could come down to crucial *is hit by brick*

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