We really believed in you, drunk moose.
Year after year, the American media is bombarded with tales of moose throughout Sweden becoming hilariously intoxicated from eating the apples that have fallen to the ground and become rotten and fermented.
But moose can’t use being drunk as an excuse anymore.
Professor Petter Kjellander, expert on wild animals at the Swedish University of Agricultural Sciences, told Swedish Radio Science News that moose — which typically weigh between 450 and 1200 pounds - are just way too big to actually get drunk on a realistic amount of fermented apples.
Kjellander also said that he and his colleagues have never seen any actual evidence of high blood alcohol content in a moose, and hypothesized that the animals behavior is interpreted as “drunk” when they are actually just acting aggressive to protect their fruit stash.
Moose, get it together.